The first day of the rest of my career

So, tomorrow marks my first day at Penguin High. I’m finally a teacher – I have a contract that says “Teacher of Science”! I’m going to be working full-time now, which is very daunting. This is the first time I’ve ever been anywhere, done anything, without knowing when I’m leaving – that’s scary. I’m really scared but I’m really excited at the same time. My Head of Department, Laura, has said that there’ll be “observations” in my first week – I didn’t think to ask if that meant I was observing teachers or if they were observing me! I guess I’ll find out tomorrow.

What I’m looking forward to is being able to be the teacher I want to be, or at least closer to that than I could before. As a PGCE student, I had to teach they way the usual class teacher thought I should teach, whether or not I agreed with it. But now I get to be myself a little more. Unfortunately I’m not going to be a form tutor next year but at least I’ll get to settle in a bit more.

So, whilst I’m not a student teacher and not quite an NQT, I start full-time employment tomorrow. Induction and assessment may not begin until September, but judgements and reputation-building start tomorrow. Wish me luck!

The light at the end of the tunnel… is the oncoming train!

So that’s it, the end of my PGCE. I can’t quite believe it’s all over. And, as much as I have hated the last nine months, I loved it too. Yes, it’s been tough – but hopefully it’s been worth the pain. I left with a tear in my eye this afternoon: it seems bizarre that I’ll never see my tutors again as they’ve been my lifeline over the course – I regard them a lot like how I regarded my teachers in Sixth Form. But funnily enough, I’m not sure if I’ve made any friends. Yes, it’s been nice seeing people on the course when we’ve been at university so that we can have a moan about things, but I doubt I’ve made any lifelong friendships. Still, we all survived!

Tomorrow I am going to the Association of Science Education (ASE) South East Area Science & CPD Conference being held at the University of Surrey in Guildford. I figured that it was only £30 (because I’m a student) and I have the day off, so I might as well. I’m attending all sorts of sessions on things that I’m interested in, rather than things I should be interested in, so hopefully I’ll enjoy it!

And next weeks starts the biggest change in my life – full time work. I start at Penguin High as an NQT on Monday and I can’t quite believe I’ve been given my wings and been forced to fly! Part of my thinks that I’ve been pushed before I’m ready but I know it’s just nerves. As we were told today: this is the end of the beginning, not the beginning of the end. This is just the end of my training. And now I’m about to start the real thing.

They think it’s all over… it is now!

Firstly I must apologise for not making a new post for what seems like an eternity! I’ve been very busy at university and I’ve actually seen my friends recently!

Finishing at School 2 was a rather joyful occasion. I was so excited on my last day! They didn’t seem to fussed that I was leaving – even my mentor didn’t realise it was my last day. But I went out and celebrated with my non-teacher friends in the evening. I really feel I owe so much to them. They’ve put up with not seeing me for ages and have been very supportive through Facebook. And I’ve always known I can call them for a chat or a cry! Crying is something I did a lot at School 2. Whether it was because of the pupils or the teachers I’m not sure.

We’ve done a lot of work on Learning Outside the Classroom at university recently. This could be because it’s a key research area for some of our tutors! But it also provided a bit of relaxation time for us trainees. I say relaxation, but it’s been mighty stressful – I didn’t realise how draining it is to not only plan activities but also to supervise pupils for five hours straight. We were asked at the end of each day how we felt – “shattered” was the general concensus! During teaching practice we felt emotional drained – this was physically draining.

We spent three days at Royal Botanical Gardens, Kew and three days at the Natural History Museum. One day was for orientation/familiarisation, one day was for planning and the final day was with pupils. The pupils we had at Kew were ones we’d never met before and the ones at Natural History Museum were ones from School 1 – it was lovely to see them and David! It reminded me of how good I had it before, before I became cynical and lost all confidence in myself. I’ve always doubted the educational value of school trips – when I was at school, I just liked the shop! But now I’ve realised that the “educational value” only applies when you’re applying for permission or funding – it really is important that pupils see you outside the classroom and that they can have fun once in a while!

I must admit that I think I enjoyed Kew much more than the pupils did! The last time I went to Kew Gardens was when I was in Year 7 – nearly eleven years ago! And I thought it was boring – plants were boring. To me, plants were green, some had flowers. Only by studying some plants at Kew in depth have I realised just how incredible some of them are – how they’ve adapted to their different enviroments is amazing. And some are just beautiful. I hope I never revert back to thinking: “Plants are green, some have flowers.” I hope I always see them for the awesome things they are.

I start at Penguin High in a few weeks’ time and I’m really nervous. I’m just worried that School 2 anihilated my teaching ability and I’m going to sink. I’m also worried that I’ll get a reputation as a bad teacher before I “really” start in September. I suppose the key is to be harsh now and ease off later if necessary.

So although on paper I haven’t finished my teacher training, the hard work is over. I can’t believe I survived. The last four months have been the hardest of my life, much harder than when I was doing my Master’s! One of my friends is thinking about doing teacher training and I don’t want him too because I love him too much and don’t want him to go through the hell I’ve been through. And I’ve heard that the NWT year is harder. Wish me luck!

The end is in sight!

I can’t believe my teaching practice is over, I’m so relieved. I feel I should fill you in at this point. You may know that I haven’t had the best of experiences at School 2. At times, the staff have been very unsuportive (it is not useful nor constructive to tell a trainee teacher “You’re going to fail, why do you want to be a teacher?”) and the pupils have been uncontrolable. I’ve been off school on more than one occasion with panic attacks and a general feeling of death. But now there’s only a few days to go and I’m so excited! The end is near!

I’ve been trying to figure out how I’ve developed as a teacher and as a human being in the last few months. And I can safely say I’ve been worn to the bone. I used to be a fairly confident person, now I barely talk to anyone. I hate School 2 for making me lose all faith in myself. I’m trying so hard to cling on to the good feelings I had in School 1 but it’s difficult. It’s so upsetting to think I’ve actually regressed as a teacher.

I’m trying hard to claw myself back and teach at least a few good lessons at School 2. I really can’t remember any and I’ve been there for 50 school days!!

We can do this, guys. I’m so sorry these posts haven’t been very frequent but, as anyone who’s been through teacher training knows, all you want to do is sleep!

End of Term 2

Now that it’s the end of term, I feel it’s an opportune moment to include an update on how my teacher training is going thus far (plus I actually have enough time to blog!). Two terms down, one to go – and aren’t I glad. School 2 is completely different to School 1 to the point when I was questioning whether or not I actually want to be a teacher. I’m not going to say anything too judgemental because I’m more professional than that and I don’t want any comments to come back and bite me in the bum five years from now! Let’s just say that this PGCE has made me realise which type of school(s) I’d rather work in – and I’ve surprised myself. School 1 is what many people would call a “challenging” school – indeed, when I told people which school I did my first teaching practice at, they’d say things like, “Well if you can survive there, you can work anywhere!” and “Rather you than me!” There are behaviour issues and attainment is generally low (BBC Education says 51% A*-C but I don’t believe that!) School 2 is a lot more academic, with a lot more focus on exam results. I thought, having come from a very academic background, I’d prefer a school where the children are brighter. But no, how wrong I was! The catchment area of a school really does have a great influence on what it’s like. Pupils at School 2 have a very different attitude to the pupils in School 1. In School 1 I felt like I could make a real difference to children’s lives and that the pupils really wanted to learn. I’d love to work in School 1, but unfortunately there are no job vacancies this year and there’s not enough money to create a post. Even for a physics teacher.

When I saw an advert for a physics teacher vacancy at another school in the LEA, I jumped at the chance. I didn’t feel optimistic when I applied though – somehow School 2 has knocked out any confidence I had in myself. I remember posting the application form – this was the first serious job I’d ever applied for. As in, a job that wasn’t a summer job. Lo and behold, a couple of days later, I got a phone call saying I had been shortlisted. I was so excited! I really wanted tot work in that school because I know the area and I know the pupils would be similar to those at School 1. When I went there, I fell in love with the place. The staff were warm, supportive and friendly and settled any nerves I had. (Having said that, my panel interview did not go very well…) I had to teach a lesson about Light to Year 8. And it went pretty well considering I’d never met the pupils before! (Note to self: remember how difficult it is to plan for pupils you don’t know!!) But as I said, the panel interview didn’t go very well. I was asked the general questions of “What would you do with a Year 9 pupil who was continually disruptive in your lessons?” and “How do you know if pupils have achieved learning outcomes?” I said all the correct buzzwords in the interview – Assessment for Learning, formative assessment, How Science Works – but somehow my nerves got the better of me.

I was so excited to get a phone call later from the Head of Science to say that they were very impressed with me and they’d like to offer me the post! I’m really looking forward to working there. Plus it gave me a confidence boost, something I really needed having been bashed about at School 2. School 1 thinks I’m a good teacher, my new school thinks I’m a good teacher – it’s just School 2. So now you’re reading the blog of Penglet, the new physics teacher due to start at Penguin High in July…

It’s all about the planning

Time management. Something I used to think I was good at until I realised just how much I like my sleep. (Also, since March 2007, I have blamed Facebook for the decline in my work ethic, although it’s purely my willpower at fault.) This afternoon, I found out I have an interview at the start of next week for a vacancy I applied for a couple of weeks ago. School 2 also have a vacancy, with the closing date at the start of next week. They keep asking me why I’m not applying – I keep saying that I’d like to experience different schools but really there’s only one reason – I really don’t like the department. They just don’t gel together. They’ve all been totally unsupportive while I’ve been there and they’re always at each other’s throats – it’s nothing like School 1 at all. School 1 still want me to work with them – I still want to work with them, but there just aren’t any vacancies!

This blog is a wonderful form of procrastination. I have two lessons to plan for tomorrow morning, a 5000 word assignement due in on Thursday (of which I have done 1100 words) and I have an interview to prepare for. And all I want to do is sleep!

It’s not the teaching that’s hard…

It’s the staff. You know how I said that I knew I’d hate School 2? Guess what, I was right! The staff are the most unsupportive bunch of people ever. They criticise me behind my back and then change my classes so that the higher achieving pupils don’t “suffer”. Of course, they never tell me how to improve, just that I need to. And I’ve been told off for not asking “how”, but how are you meant to know what questions to ask if no-one’s told you? I cry in my frees in the staff toilets and I cry when I get home. I’ve cried more in the last week than I can ever remember doing in my whole life.

I’m seriously wondering whether or not I want to be a teacher now. I know it’s just the school, because I loved School 1 so much. The staff at School 1 were so supportive of me and each other that I thought all schools must be like that. All schools should be like that.

And on top of this I still have to plan lessons, mark books and write assignments. Great.

I never realised a career in teaching would be a career in politics.

Happy birthday, Mr Darwin

Even though I am, by degree, a physical scientist, I can’t help but be fascinated by Charles Darwin’s theory of evolution. The more I think about it, the more I am amazed by it – how it all just makes sense and, as my boyfriend put it, how incredibly simple it is. The idea that all species are related to one another is just so… elegant. Having been born and raised a Roman Catholic, I had never though of the idea that humans could have evolved from other animals – after all, I had believed that God created Adam from soil and later Eve from Adam’s rib. How grateful I will remain to my parents for not sending me to a faith secondary school and for helping me to develop a curiosity for science that is not clouded by religion. Anyway, I will stop wittering on.

As I am sure you are aware, 2009 marks the 200th anniversary of Darwin’s birth and the 150th anniversary of the publication of his awe-inspiring, revolutionary book, On the Origin of the Species. In honour of this, the Natural History Museum in London has been running an exhibition, Darwin, since November 2008. (It closes on 19th April 2009.) As it was half term this week, I decided to treat myself and go to it. It contained some incredible artifacts, for example Darwin’s beetle collections and his notebooks. It was a very thoughtfully created exhibition, which appealed to pretty much anyone with an interest in science that was at least 8 years old. Unfortunately, because the exhibition catered for the masses, I found that I didn’t really learn much from it – however, as I did mention, the artifacts were brilliant. It depends on what you want from an exhibition. I’d certainly take a group of more able Year 8 and/or 9 pupils, but not a group of A-Level biologists. It’s worth visiting if you’re in London, but don’t make a special trip. (Word of warning though – you MUST book tickets in advance as they’ll be sold out on the day.)

On a similar Darwinian theme, I was gobsmacked by the programme the BBC showed a few weeks ago called Charles Darwin and the Tree of Life as part of its Darwin Season. Maybe it’s BBC’s production skills, maybe it’s Sir David Attenborough’s wonderful way of explaining things. That programme was incredible.

First day nerves

Today was my first proper day at School 2. The staff seemed a little more friendly than they did before – maybe they’ve realised I’m there until May so they’d better get used to it! Or maybe I have lowered my expectations. My tutor at uni told me that the last trainee who went there clashed with the staff so spectacularly that she failed the course. I am the first trainee to go to School 2 since. Well whoop die doo. Maybe I should just stick my iPod on and keep myself to myself.

So, back to today. I was really nervous this morning. It didn’t help that it was pouring with rain and that my outfit was being ruined as I walked to Reception! But I found my feet after a while. The other trainees at school (one does History and the one does English with Drama) are nothing like me at all – I’m not sure I’ll build the same relationship with them as I did with the trainees at School 1. I think the fact that each department has it’s own staff room doesn’t help that either. I met the headteacher today and she seems lovely – I’m having a formal introduction on Thursday, which should be good.

I met my Year 8 class today. They seem like my Year 7’s from School 1 on a good day! Bella, their class teacher, is really focused and she used to be a mentor before Bob did it, so she knows the exact advice to give me. Plus she’s really easy to talk to. I’m teaching Year 8 about Food and the Digestive System after half term, which should be “fun”.

All in all, as I was explaining to my family, you instantly get a feeling about a school when you walk in. It’s difficult for a school to grow on you. School 2 may not be similar to School 1 in any shape or form, but I’m feeling a little more optimistic now. I hope my optimism isn’t misplaced!

Let it snow

So, I have been snowed in to my suburban London home and though it would be an opportune moment to blog about my teaching career thus far.

I love it, plain and simple. If you know me at all, I love filling in forms and pretening I’m organised. (I know, I’m weird.) That’s why teaching’s the perfect profession for me – I love paperwork. It’s got nothing to do with educating people! Seriously though, I love that moment when a penny drops for a pupil or you manage to convince a totally disinterested pupil that science can be fun. Or someone who has no faith in themselves realises, with some help, that they can actually do science. I love giving pupils that little push to help them believe in themselves and to develop the confidence to admit they don’t understand some things – too many people are too scared to admit they don’t know everything.

I love teaching, I love working in schools – I just hate doing my PGCE! Sessions at university are so dull and lectures are so irrelevant. I wish I could be back in school. Even School 2, with the delight that is Bob, my new mentor.